One of the nicest things about our lifestyle is that most of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness and common courtesy; just as we ourselves wish to be treated. Think C.S.A.S.C.(Common Sense and Social Courtesy). If you employ the following suggestions and adapt them to your own situation, you should be a welcome participant.
1. BE COURTEOUS: Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated – with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence, courtesy is our treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated. Remember the Golden and Silver rules.
2. BE FRIENDLY: Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.
3. CLEANLINESS: Nothing turns a person off faster than an unclean body or un-fresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. It is amazing what time to drive somewhere, stop for a bite, or whatever can do or rather UNDO.
4. RESPECT OTHERS’ FEELINGS: Beware not everyone is comfortable in all situations. Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.
5. DON’T BE PUSHY: If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say “No, thank you,” do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say “NO” at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.
6. ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU: Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
7. HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO: One of the basic etiquette’s in swinging is the right of anyone to say “No”. Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swinger world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say “No” to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple “No, thank you”. Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.
8. ALCOHOL OR DRUGS: Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you “relax”. Over-indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
9. PRACTICE SAFER SEX: It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. The use of condoms should not offend anybody.
10. ENJOY YOURSELF: Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.
